Wednesday, May 19, 2010 8:07 PM, MDT

Today was Melody's Kindergarten graduation. We were busy this afternoon getting gussied up and ready to go the the ceremony, three girls getting cleaned up, hair done, and matching clothes! Oh, and trying to get myself cleaned up and presentable too. My mind was definitely busy concentrating on all that I had to do to prepare for the evening's festivities. Right in the middle of those preparations, I got a call from Cassidy's cardiologist.

I had to completely switch gears, as this call was about scheduling surgery. Cassidy will be having her cardiac catheterization on July 7 at 7am, and also another echocardiogram that day. Then the sometime during the week of the 12th, we will officially be inpatient at TCH again. I've done a whole lot of not facing this upcoming issue in the months that we have been home. It is hard to believe that we've been home for 9 weeks. In that time, we've had weekly appoints or more with cardiology, pediatrics, therapists, audiology, ad nauseum. Yet, somehow, I think I have detached myself from the reality that I am going to very soon hand my precious baby over to a team of highly trained specialists, and pray. Pray that they are able to repair my child's heart, completely, and without complications. And I will have to sit by, praying. And she will hurt, and I will be unable to kiss it and make it better. She will have to face a long road of recovery, and I will only be able to cheer her on. I will do everything in my power to help her, nourish her, settle her, but I cannot heal her. Facing the reality that I will be placing my sweet child into the hands of surgeons was not something I was prepared to deal with this afternoon. I still don't think I am fully facing that reality. I am so thankful that I have a faithful God, that I can place her in HIS hands, and know that He will be holding me just as tightly that day.

And then, I had to switch gears right back into Kindergarten graduation. We all got ready and headed to the library. The kids we so very cute! They had sweet little caps, tassels, and sashes. It was adorable. Melody had to share what she wanted to be when she grows up, and she said she wants to take care of cats (after much coaxing because she didn't want to talk into the microphone). Cute :) I was so proud of all our cute little co-op kids.

Yesterday, we had our first field trip outing, just me and FOUR girls! It was a lot of fun, and I didn't have a single issue. Which for us is just short of miraculous! The girls all really enjoyed the museum, learned some new things, and were really helpful and patient when our pace had to be a little slower than normal. They helped me with all of Cassidy's needs, and Cassidy had a lovely time hanging out in the sling :) We will definitely keep up the field trips, especially now that I know I can do it.

Oh, I almost forgot! Ainsley got home from her first sleepaway camp on Sunday! She had a super wonderful fabulous time. She loved loved loved it. Her counselor was a sweet gal that reminded me a ton of my sister :) She wants to go back next year, and hasn't stopped talking about camp since we picked her up. She also has remembered the lessons she learned while she was there, and I am hoping she can really apply them and take them to heart.

I am sure there are other things that have been going on that I ought to be sharing, but my brain is starting to shut down for the night.

Cassidy is 6lbs 5oz now, and growing a steady 10-20 grams per day. She is eating like a champ, which makes me feel so grateful. I know SO many others whose babies are on feeding tubes. I don't for one minute take it for granted that I am able to nourish my baby just like I have all the other girls. It is such a blessing, and I cherish every single feeding. I love to hear her swallow. And I love to watch her fall dreamily to sleep in my arms. She is so precious. I am typing this entry with her asleep in my arms, and I stop every few words just to stare and marvel at her sweet little face. Have I mentioned that she has the most amazingly long and full eyelashes? So glad she got those from her daddy!

If you remember us in your prayers, please pray for strength in the coming months. Pray for those surgeons, that they are guided every step by God's hand. Pray for our kids too, that they will weather the stress of the coming months.