Hunger

Sunday, February 28, 2010 8:22 AM, MST

I am holding my snuggly little babe right now as a type, and I have to tear my gaze away from her sweet little face because I am not much of touch-typer

, and also my space bar and my "a" don't always work.

We had a pretty long night, and Cassidy spent every care time screaming and having huge mad fits. She hasn't ever been that way, and I didn't know she could scream that loudly (which is still pretty quietly!) I truly think it is hunger that is causing her to be so upset. We are praying that tomorrow will be the day we reintroduce feeding.

God has been orchestrating so amazingly this journey we have been on. Our little heart baby, born on Valentine's Day, had a holiday every day of her life the first four days, transferred to Denver the day after my mom arrived, born with a CHD during national heart month, etc. One thing after another that just has lined up perfectly by God's design. Now, as we face yet another aspect of her condition, we are told that there will be a symposium in this hospital today for doctors and families discussing exactly her most recent diagnosis. Coincidence? No way, God's design! Kevin and I will attend this conference today from 12-5, and then I think I will feel more equipped to share about this next part of the journey.

Also, did you know that 2.5 kilos is around 5lbs 8oz? Cassidy is bouncing around 1940g lately, which is 4lbs 4oz. We would love to get her to 3kilos or more before her surgery, which is 6lbs 10oz. All of those numbers still seem really tiny to me! Especially because they are below the birthweight of most normal kiddos! And Liberty was even 8lbs 7oz at birth! A bigger body gives the cardiac surgeons a bigger canvas to work on, and we want them to have the biggest space possible to create a flawless design on her heart.

Did I mention she was fussy last night? Oh yes. And none too happy this morning, though she only had to have a tiny heel stick to check her glucose levels. Her day nurse just brought us a swing, which may give Cassidy some new stimulation and a nice way to relax. I cannot wait to lay her down in her swing, just like I would be doing daily if we were at home! It is the little things . . .

I miss my girls. They miss me too. They are doing well with Daddy and Nana and Grandmama, but it isn't the same without Mommy. Somehow cloning doesn't seem so bad at the moment! lol Does anyone remember that crazy movie, Multiplicity? I could use one of those devices about now. I may be getting a little goofy from the lack of sleep!

Let's see, what else? I got to Skype with my dad yesterday and he got to watch Cassidy sleep. My sister caught me on Skype as well. That was fun. The girls all skyped with me while Cassidy was wide awake, and they thought she was so funny with her little noises, faces, and yawns.

I've been eating up all my groceries, trying to stay healthy and keep my milk supply up. Blueberries and cream oatmeal with fresh blueberries on top, yum. In fact, my stomach is starting to rumble now, since I haven't eaten and it is nearly nine o'clock! I guess that is my cue to wrap this up. I won't promise to post later after the symposium, but I like to think that I will have time later this evening. If you want to stay updated without needing to come back to check all the time, just subscribe to my journal and it will let you know when I update!

Thanks for all the prayers, we so very much appreciate them! Thank you for surrounding our family with your love.